brideofkain's Blog

I will speak even if nobody would agree.

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Shameless self-advertising below:-P

Some months ago I became a volunteer blogger for my university's archives. It is a very narrow subject, I know. But if you're the type of person who wants to know everythinh, here it is:
Ok, shameless self-advertising over. Back to the regular schedule.

... or the ellipses overload

... is a pause in the spoken language. The space in communication where nothing is said, but sometimes what is not said matters more than words.
Sometimes it is just funny, the comedy can be intentional or not. Who can forget captain Kirk, whose traits...involved among the others, ...speaking like this? The ellipses that were meant to add weight and style to the acting, turned into the symbol of hammy overacting. This opens up the doors to the world of parody.
The ellipsis, in the hands of skilled writer, can turn the bland scene into a minefield of implications, tensions, unspoken words that can shake the ground. It works as well in the written medium as in film. It is the moment when actors stopped speaking and look at each other. This is the moment the audience realizes that they feel and know more than what the words just conveyed.
However the ellipsis(why can't I ever spell it right? Thank the gods for the spellchecker!) can be dangerous to the communication like a knife in the hands of an idiot. Just recently I had a comment from someone who put ellipsis in such a place, that it implied that I'm of a person of a questionable repute. Misunderstandings ensued.
So please, watch your ellipsis like a hawk, mind your pregnant pauses and most of all, take the knife out of the idiot's hands:-D

You were not required to answer that question

I don't know about you, but I love a good debate. We all have a subject or subjects we feel passionate about. I don't mean zealot level, holy war waging, 'worrld need to change' doom predicting kind of passion. I mean those things we would talk if the opportunity presented itself, especially if our opinions do not belong to the mainstream. Personal choices, that sometimes bother people who graduated from the That's How The Things Should Be Academy.
Anyway, you see a question with a potentioal. You think: 'Oh boy! This will give me a proper debate!'
So you stretch your debating limbs, swap some messages and suddenly you realize that the other person ran out of the arguments. How can you tell? Because the debate switched to the personal attacks and assumptionsbased on a detail you said a couple of exchanges ago. So, you tell them to stop making assumptions and the answer is:
'You were not required to answer that question, have a nice life.'  Discussion over.
You can say many things about me, not all of them pleasant, but I know when I'm beaten and I can admit that.
I feel it's like the discussion I used to have with my father. When he run out of argument he'd say: 'Don't be infanitle/stupid/' or 'You are so immature' to end the discussion and to have upper hand. Lame.

hru? idk!

Yes, it had to happen, I have to write about my fierce hate towards the textspeak. Yes, I am a grammar nazi. Before you start throwing stones and insult just hear me out. The English language is not my mother tongue. I would rather cut my own tongue out  before I would take it for granted. It took me years to master. It is true that I barely remember the time when I was not able to speak or write in it at all. Since I spoke my very first word, the English became the language of sophistication. The secrets were spoken and written in it, the songs sung, the poetry composed. It was spoken deep into the night, by people that had no privacy other than the barrier of the language.. It was used to preserve the mystery and to assert the identity. It became the language of the soul. Finally, it became the gateway to a better life.
So please forgive me when I rage at the message that  says:
hru  I'm ok 4got  ur stuff CU m8.


I have always thought that the advantage of the asynchronous communication is the amount of the deliberate effort that comes with it. A letter, for example. It takes some time to write,   every thought is being filtered through the action of writing, reading and re-reading to make it as good as possible. To make it as clear as possible and, finally, to take the responsibility for the words committed to paper.  The act of writing is very unlike the speech, or rapid clattering of a chat. The things should not go out blurted. This idea seems to be lost on some people. There is this trend to write and post without thinking, sprinkling bold statements for everyone to see. After that the period of fear of the reaction comes. The inability to face the consequences of one's own writing.
I make sure that everything I write is exactly what I want to say, no backsies, no hiding of the head in the sand. Can you say the same?

Lessons learnt

I have learnt today a couple of interesting things about human communication.

1. You can't communicat with anyone who would not listen, or to be more precise, would not listen to somebody  speaking the truth. The ears of some people will be open only towards praise. In other words, anyone who cannot take constructive criticism, is unwiling to learn from their mistakes, even if they say otherwise.

2.if a person, that is otherwise well spoken, cannot controll their 'runaway' sentences while agitated it means several things. Firstly, they cannot control their temper. Secondly, they are too out of control to reat their entry again just to make sure they are understood.

3.I have nothing to say to the person that thinks that education is a stupid waste of time. The education can put a restriction on ones creativity, as the old forms are still taught. However, to be able to break free from the constrains of the old forms and to experiment with new, one needs to know the old forms first. Otherwise one is bound to repeat the process of discovering what is already discovered. This is the second time I've met somebody who thinks I am bending over for 'the Man' because I place such an importance on the clarity of communication. It baffles me to see such people.

4. I was naive in thinking that I'm helping while I was being used as a free proofreading machine.

So, to anyone accidently reading this entry, what did youlearn about the human ability to communicate?

Some unexpected consequences

An unexpected consequence of being free to express myself without showing my face is getting attention. It is a completely new experience for me. I have lived whole life being close to invisible, especially for men. It may be my lack of confidence, but I dare anyone to have their confidence intact after being put down for years.
The factor of imagination being more attractive than reality also comes into play here. I know, I've been there.
However, I can't help but wonder, if that's what my life would look like if I was remotely attractive?

Wearing the mask of the avatar

One thing I never realized before is how free speech works while there is no need to show one's face. It is brilliant!
I had no idea how easy it is, just drop all my insecurities like they have never existed. How it is when what you look like have no bearing on your reception by the other people. I have always liked the way human communication is refined by the fact it is written, not spoken. When I first encountered the (chats, so many years ago!) this was the thing I like about them best.
I think I'm here to stay.

Hello World and assorted matters.

Ekhm..right then...Em..
Hello world. There I have started my first ever blog post. I have never imagined myself writing a blog, but since I joined this social site some things, quite unexpected things have happened. I will speak about those in my consecutive posts. The online networking is still quite new to me and  I may sound(read?) as a grinning idiot, but I thought I'll do it anyway for the record's sake.
'And now for something completely different' -Man I have always wanted to say that..

Because some people seems to be confused about it and taking into an account human fondness of the vows and oaths, I decided to do this:


I, Bride of Kain, do solemnly swear:
To tell the truth
Be honest and sincere
In my stories, confessions, answers,messages,comments, questions and blog posts.
To conceal and withhold nothing
Except the name of the country
That bore me, raised me, betrayed me and abandoned me.
So shall it be
Under the sanctity of Reason, Tolerance, Peace and Progress.
This is my Pledge.

1-9 of 9 Blogs   

Previous Posts
I will speak even if nobody would agree., posted January 24th, 2014, 1 comment
Shameless self-advertising below:-P, posted November 11th, 2013
... or the ellipses overload, posted May 8th, 2013
You were not required to answer that question, posted January 24th, 2013
hru? idk!, posted January 10th, 2013
Filtered?, posted December 12th, 2012, 4 comments
Lessons learnt, posted November 29th, 2012
Some unexpected consequences, posted November 17th, 2012
Wearing the mask of the avatar, posted November 15th, 2012
Hello World and assorted matters., posted November 13th, 2012

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